A few weeks ago, I decided to accept a position at a new company and this is my last week at my current company. It was a hard decision to make as I’ve only been at this company for a little over a year but over that year, I’ve learned a lot about myself. My current job is working for a very small company and, as a result, I have very little interaction with others. I mostly work alone and as a result, I could feel myself getting more and more depressed each week. The depression and unhappiness definitely caused me to be a bit of a bear to deal with for my family, but it also left me unmotivated. And, while I accomplished some great things here … I can’t help but think about what else I could have done. This in turn made me even MORE depressed.
The new position is at a much larger company and is much closer to my home. I will be trading in a 2+ hours of commuting for less than 20 minutes a day. While I am excited for this change, I am also very nervous. Change is always hard! But, I am hoping that this turns out to be a really good move. My new manager sounds amazing… very outgoing, friendly, and there will be lots of project work so working with others will NOT be a problem!
Given that this is my last week working in New York and in my current role, I’ve been reflecting a lot and I actually have many more mixed emotions than I thought I would. I also have a bit too much time on my hands as things wind down here and I get ready to leave. Can you tell?
I feel …
… guilty that I won’t be doing the long commute yet Adam will be.
… grateful that I have such a great husband who doesn’t mind and is happy for me.
… happy that I won’t have to walk 3+ miles in the rain or freezing cold again but then I feel sad that Adam will.
… sad that I will miss walking in NY on the beautiful fall and spring days.
… happy that I will be able to do some of our “chores” / “errands” on weeknights so that we can spend our weekends doing more “fun” things.
… excited to work with people again but also nervous about whether or not I can!?!
… happy that I won’t have to push through OWS crowds in Union Square to get home. Can I just say that yesterday was a bit crazy?
Change is hard. And, while I know that this change will be better for both of us… I am also feeling incredibly guilty about it.